31 Days of Horror (Films) - Day 6

THE PERFECTION -streaming on Netflix

This is a jarring mash of revenge fantasy, body horror, and Lifetime styled lesbian love affair, with some additional heavy nods to MeToo.

For about the first 20-odd minutes I thought I’d been duped as nothing much happened other that some minor projectile vomiting and a low level lovemaking montage. But then it gets kinda bonkers and eventually kinda creepy, and not in the scary way, but in that creepy, cringey way.

While the gore and jump scares are minimal, it’s the odd twists and turns that really make this an interesting and entertaining effort.

Well I'll Be Amsterdammed! - Amsterdam Film Review

 In the context of the film, "Amsterdam" is a metaphor for an idyllic utopia where racial equality and artistic freedom are the norm. Sadly, like most romantic ideals, it's not something likely to be long lasting if ever fully realized, which ultimately makes this largely comedic romp all the more sad and somber in the end.

Part war buddy bromance, part mystery, part conspiracy theory David O. Russell's latest effort chugs along like a streamlined and less whimsical Wes Anderson ensemble piece. While largely light and breezy with a number of great comedic turns from those involved, it does get bogged down with slightly heavy-handed socio-political commentary in the third act. This nefarious revelation draws an all-too-obvious correlation to the current state of American affairs and almost renders the brevity of the previous two acts moot. Thankfully, the sheer chutzpah of all involved saves the day.

The cast here is stellar. Bale, Washington, and Robbie are supported with a veritable roll call of thespian luminaries, some recognizable, others lurking under wonderful make-up and elaborate costumes. 

And the story? It's like a vintage Hitchcockian thriller with it's twists and turns and everyday people thrust behind the cloak and dagger curtain. But it's also funny, too. I laughed out loud more than once. I swear.

Unbeknownst to me, the film is actually based on a somewhat obscure and alleged conspiracy event called "The Wall Street Putsch," which occurred in 1933 (look it up because it's fascinating and crazy enough to make even the most stalwart intellectual consider the existence of myriad other conspiracy theories).

For some reason the film is getting slagged by the critics. Not sure if they all saw a different cut than me, but I was thoroughly entertained by it. A former colleague of mine recently remarked that the sign of a good movie is one that makes you forget that you're sitting in a strange chair in an unfamiliar dark room that's not in your house. If you squirm, fidget, or feel the need to get up numerous times to go to the bathroom or get a snack, then the film sucks. I was glued firmly to my seat all the way through the final credits. 

So, yeah, I enjoyed it. 

But YMMV.

31 Days of Horror (Films) - Day 5

 V/H/S/94 - streaming on Shudder

Sewer rats, the living dead, cyborgs, and vampires, oh my!!!

This 2022 reboot of the V/H/S anthology franchise is more or less a gonzo good time rife with splatter gore, jump scares, and twisted tales from the warped minds of Simon Barrett, Timo Tjahjanto, Ryan Prows, and Chloe Okuno.

Really the only weak link is the wraparound story by Jennifer Reed, which is convoluted and confusing, both in its editing and story. The rest of the vignettes, however, more than make up for it.

31 Days of Horror (Films) - Day 4

DACHRA - streaming on Shudder and Kanopy

There’s quite a bit to like about this Tunisian horror film. There’s also quite a lot to be frustrated about. 

On the positive side, the direction is crisp and cool with lots of wonderfully composed shots that help to instill a sense of unease and dread. The acting is solid, too. But damn if this isn’t one derivative endeavor. 

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a group of college kids decide to go investigate a strange patient at a creepy insane asylum and film the interview for their journalism senior project. Naturally, they uncover a mystery and end up in the woods “enjoying” the hospitality of a strange community. Witchcraft and demons may be involved. Furthermore, our protagonist is an orphan who has been experiencing menacing nightmares.

 Culling familiar elements from The Blair Witch Project (and dozens of other like-minded films that followed in its wake), the “Lady In Black” mythos, and of course the whole creepy backwoods locals schtick really hurts the story, especially since it embraces so many worn-out tropes without really giving them a new shine.

 I am cutting the film a little bit of slack due to “exotic bias,” as the Tunisian locales were stunning and weird and the language (a mixture of Arabic and French) is mellifluous to the ears.

31 Days of Horror (Films) - Day 3

BENNY LOVES YOU - streaming on Showtime

Imagine Elmo on a killing spree.

That’s the gist of this Brit horror comedy.

This is a bonafide red eye matinee, best viewed through an alcohol and psychedelics fueled haze with a loud crowd of like-minded viewers.

Sadly, I am off the sauce and on the wagon and I watched at home alone, so a lot of the purile humor fell flat.

In many ways the film owes a debt to Edgar Wright, but it lacked any of his snappy wit and brilliant staging.

The bits with Benny (is he a bear or a rabbit?) are pretty hilarious as it looks like the director just moved him around with his hands like he was playing with a stuffy with his kids and then edited out his hands; Benny isn’t articulated or animated, he just bounces around with his ears and arms and legs flopping. Sure, that shit is kinda funny, but after awhile, especially if you are sober, it wears thin. Additionally, the blood and gore and practical effects are super cheap.

In the end Benny Loves You kinda flails at it’s intended mash-up of comedy, horror, and nostalgia. That said, I know if I had seen this at at Midnite Matinee hopped up on brew and bud with a raucous crowd I’d be giving it 5 stars…instead I’mma go 2.5.

Heineken? F$%k that sh!t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!!! - The Greatest Beer Run Ever Review

Anti-war film in the vein of Platoon? Military comedy a la Stripes? Heroic action film? Peter Farrelly’s latest effort is all of these, with some coming-of-age/journey-of-self discovery elements tossed in for good measure.

The problem, however, is that it is ALL of those things, resulting in the overall tone of the film being incredibly uneven. It can’t seem to make up it’s mind if it wants to be a ribald comedy, a somber socio-political commentary, or a gonzo war picture. In short it shifts tones so frequently that it leaves the viewer dizzy. I found myself laughing hysterically at a scene only to be slapped in the face by some ardent message while I was still mid guffaw. Or I found myself tearing up during an emotional moment only to have an ill-timed belly laugh thrown at me. The film is a veritable roller coaster, which becomes erratic and jolting.

Ups and downs aside, the story is anchored by a bravura turn from Zac Efron. Honestly, I’ve never paid much attention to this dude as I always (unfairly) remember him for his early Disney dancing and singing days. While I never watched any of the High School Musical films, that image of Efron is indelibly etched in my mind. Heck, I can only recall two other films that I’ve seen him in: Me and Orson Welles and The Beach Bum. I don’t remember much about him in the former, but he all but saved the latter with a hilariously over-the-top turn as a drug addict. Here he maneuvers the rocky tonal shifts with aplomb, delivering some nice comedic moments, some solid dramatic flair, and based on how he dodges gunfire and grenades, he might actually make a good action hero someday. The supporting cast, consisting largely of unknowns (to me, at least) is strong and the two high profile cameos—Murray and Crowe—are put to good use. 

The Greatest Beer Run Ever is a conflicting film, one that never really finds its voice or footing. In many ways it is a mirror reflection of the war that it depicts: chaotic and confusing, but also exciting (at times) and emotionally charged.

Bottomline: No need to head out to the cineplex to see it. If you have AppleTV, just stream it instead.

31 Days of Horror (Films) - Day 2

 WRONG TURN (aka THE FOUNDATION) (2021) - streaming on Showtime

I had been vaguely aware that they had turned the 2003 Wrong Turn into a franchise, but had no idea that this 2020 "reboot" was the seventh(!) entry in the series. I think I saw bits & pieces of WT 2: Dead End on the SyFy Channel late one night, but all I remember about it is that Henry Rollins was in it. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the Wrong Turn concept, it basically took The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes, mashed the key elements of both together, moved the actions to West Virginia, and BAM! called it a new movie. The original film was enjoyable, if predictable and trope/cliche ridden fare. It certainly didn't warrant 6 sequels, though.

Despite the incessant hyperbole displayed by most horror enthusiasts online, I decided to give this effort a go. I am not sure why they decided to use the Wrong Turn name (although the script here is penned by Alan B. McElroy, who wrote the first film and is returning to the franchise after 18 years) as this film shares very little in common with its predecessors. Sure, an annoying group of spoiled city kids get lost in the woods and all hell breaks loose, but everything else is just enough different that it really should have been a standalone film; we didn't really need a reboot of a mediocre franchise is what I'm saying.

Unnecessary attachment to the "Wrong Turn" title aside, this is an entertaining, if derivative bit of action horror.  As for changes, they are subtle: the action has been moved from West Virginia to Virginia and our protagonists get lost on the Appalachian Trail rather than on some backwoods road. The antagonists have changed a bit, too, but to talk about them would spoil the new slants to the familiar story. Speaking of which, the plot ticks off all the requisite tropes and cliches, starting with annoying and mostly unlikeable characters (except for Matthew Modine's father character; I love how he is becoming a horror icon in this part of his career!), creepy locals, and the like.

The acting is decent enough and the pacing, while starting off slow, ends up being pretty quick. The director knows when to amp things up and the action sequences are pretty intense, especially the opening act tumble down a hillside and the third act bravura finale. The "reveal"/twist to the original Wrong Turn is a little tepid, a little confusing, and meant to make some sort of socio-political statement, but what exactly, I'm not sure.

This film definitely falls squarely into the B-movie category and as such it provides some chills and thrills, but overall isn't terribly spectacular (though that hill tumble sequence and the finale are pretty sweet and there's a fair bit of solid practical gore sprinkled throughout). Sadly, the specter of the horrible Wrong Turn films (2-6) hangs over this endeavor. Personally, I woulda called it Appalachian Terror or just The Foundation. But what do I know?